Unexpected Twists

What Inspired You To Become a Surrogate?:
 I had two friends who could never have children, so always thought if it came easy to me, I would do it for someone.

What Is Your Favourite Memory From Your Surrogacy Journey(s)?:
My husband telling someone else what I was doing, and yet he was the one who first had cold feet.

What Is One Piece of Advice You’d Give Someone Considering Becoming a Surrogate?:
Don’t over think it

Tell us your surrogacy story:

The story is a fun one with the only drama being my husband!

When I was younger, my older sister who had two really close girlfriends who both were unable to have children. From that time I remember always thinking that, if this comes easy to me, meaning having a baby, that I promise to help someone else who can’t. This thought came to me early on, before my husband and I had even had our own. I would always say to him, I want to be a surrogate, and he would just say, ‘sure, let’s have our own kid first, and then see how you feel.’

We always knew we wanted just one, and that didn’t change after having our son. He was the easiest baby, and I had no pregnancy complications, but for our lifestyle we just wanted one child. When our son was about 2, I started brining up surrogacy again, and again my husband never really said much. I say a lot of things, so I think he assumed this was just one of those things that I wasn’t serious about. Then when my little guy was 3, I sat down with my husband and said, “hey, I’m ready and I really want to do this.”

That’s when I realized he really didn’t want me to. The birth of my son didn’t exactly go according to plan. What started as a normal labour turned into an emergency C-section. Everything turned out completely fine, but I think being in the room, hearing the conversations and watching everything suddenly become urgent really stayed with him. For me , it was just one of those things that can sometimes happen during childbirth I wasn’t ever scared, but for him it was frightening.

Him not wanting us to do this had nothing to do with surrogacy itself, he was actually very worried about me and didn’t want anything to happen to me…obviously!

So instead of rushing him into anything, we took our time. We talked about it… a lot. I made him research it with me and then we even spoke to different avenues that we trusted, including an agency and a fertility clinic. Once he understood more about the screening process, the medical care, and the support that’s built into surrogacy, it really helped put his mind at ease.

Eventually, he said, “If this is something you’ve wanted for this long, let’s see who we could help”

And so we did it!

The craziest part is, after having a C-section with my own son, my surrogacy journey ended with a vaginal birth. It wasn’t something I felt I needed to experience at all, but that was one of those unexpected twists that happened.

Looking back now, two years later, my favourite part is definitely having a baby girl for the best couple, but ALSO, how my husband went from being genuinely scared to becoming my biggest supporters. Once he understood it all, together, we were able to help an amazing family.

That family sends pics of their little one at least 2-3 times a year, and we continue to receive notes and tokens of appreciation from them. None of which is needed but extremely appreciated.