I could never do that.

What Inspired You To Become a Surrogate?:
I liked being able to help someone

What Is Your Favourite Memory From Your Surrogacy Journey(s)?:
It was with my daughter and one of our IPs. They got along so well, that one day she looked at him and said, “I can’t wait to get the baby out of Mom’s tummy and give it to you.”

What Is One Piece of Advice You’d Give Someone Considering Becoming a Surrogate?:
It feels normal

Tell us your surrogacy story: I never really knew much about surrogacy before. I knew what it was, but just thought it was something rich people or celebrities did when women didn’t want their bodies to change.

The first time I really heard about it properly was from a friend while we were waiting at the kids’ bus stop after school pickup. She told me she had just come back from visiting a friend in Windsor, Ontario, who was becoming a surrogate for another couple. I remember being shocked and then saying, “Wait… is this legal?” That’s how little I knew about surrogacy at the time.

She started explaining the whole story to me while we waited for the bus, which was late again. Her friend already had her own children, had easy pregnancies, and decided she wanted to help another family who couldn’t have children on their own. I remember asking so many questions because I honestly could not understand why someone would go through pregnancy for somebody else.

At first, I thought it sounded very emotional and complicated. I even said, “I could never do that.” But after that conversation, I kept thinking about it.

One day I brought it up with my employer, who I had worked for as a nanny for years. I knew she and her husband had gone through years of trying to have a baby, so I told her that story and asked her what she thought about surrogacy. Right away she got emotional, almost thinking I was telling her I wanted to become a surrogate. I quickly said, “No no, not me, I’m just curious about it.” But seeing how emotional she became talking about the women who help families in this way, it stuck with me. I was thinking, “Am I thinking I want to do this?”

I have always worked with children, first in a daycare and then for many years as a nanny, so most of my life has been around kids and families already. One thing I know for sure is how much happiness children bring into a home. I come from a close family with lots of siblings and have two kids myself also, so between my own family and the families I worked for, I know how full a home feels with children in it.

So a few weeks later I messaged my friend again and asked more questions about the woman in Windsor. I wanted to know if her family supported it, if she was scared, what the intended parents were like, I had so many questions. The more she explained, the more normal it sounded. My pregnancies had always been healthy and, except for a bit of morning sickness with my daughter, I was good with being pregnant.

I talked to my family. My husband works overseas half of the year, so he was like, “If you can manage it, I am fine.” My son, who was 16 at the time, just said, “Sure Mom,” and then, “I can drive you places.” But I think he mostly just wanted to use the car more, because he never drove me anywhere;).

My 8-year-old daughter was the funniest about it. At first she compared it to a friend of hers who had just gotten a sibling. But I explained again that, “No, we would be giving the baby to their family. We are just helping them.” Once she got to know our intended parents, she became so excited that we were helping them have a baby.

My daughter and one of the dads got along so well that she couldn’t wait to “give him the baby.” It is actually my favourite memory from the whole time.

One day my kids and I went to lunch with our IPs. I was about five months pregnant, and my daughter gave them one of her old turtle stuffies and said, “This is for Baby Elle.” She had made up her own name for the baby. Then she said, “I will keep giving you gifts because I think you and Jeff are confused about what to buy Baby Elle.” We were laughing so hard.

Even now, almost three years later, she still randomly tells people, “Do you know my mom made a baby for someone?”

During the pregnancy, life felt so normal, except now we had this new couple in our lives who slowly became like an extension of our family. They were so sweet with my kids and very thoughtful with all of us. Everything was so natural.

Even now we still see each other a couple times a year, and usually my daughter requests that we do something “fun.” Our IPs always find some new adventure that keeps my daughter entertained and something their daughter gets to be a part of.

When I think back now, I still think it’s so funny that everything started from a random conversation during school pickup. It ended up becoming one of the best decisions I ever made.